How to do Black Friday :
You Snooze You Lose
I’ve never really been one for getting involved in all the Black Friday madness. It all just seems like a lot of pushing and shoving with very little to show at the end of it.
Hordes of Americans camp out overnight on Thanksgiving so they can be first in line when Walmart opens at 4am on Black Friday, so they can pick up a widescreen TV for about $50. They know how to do it right.
Armed with their semi automatics ready to fight to the death with Chuck from down the road if he looks like he might get his hands on their precious goods first. And woe betide anyone else who gets in the way, as they will be trampled under foot like a scene from Jumanji.
Thankfully us Brits are generally too bloody polite for all that insanity. We would rather form an orderly queue, making polite conversation with those around us, while tutting and rolling our eyes if someone pushes in. The worst we’d be likely to do is come up with a distraction technique for our rivals, as we grab what they’re reaching for off the shelf.
“Look over there! I’ve just seen Phillip Schofield in the underwear department!”
This time however, things are changing for me, and I’m embracing Black Friday fully.
All year I’ve had my eye on this totally amazing designer handbag in House of Fraser at Friars Square in Aylesbury. They’ve been known to have the odd sale, and I’ve literally been popping in there every couple of weeks to see if MY bag has been given a red discount sticker.
It has now been 5 months that I’ve been undertaking my bag stake out, and it still has not been given a sticker. It’s not looking good. On the plus side, most of the staff now know me by name, especially security who follow me round at a discreet distance.
I’ve almost given up hope. But not quite. You see, I think they’re waiting for Black Friday, which will be the last chance for me and my bag to finally be together. I’ve already chosen the spot for my sleepover on the 28th, invested in a sleeping bag, and an alarm clock to wake me up at dawn.
And if all else fails, I’m looking into hiring a Phillip Schofield lookalike to wander around the underwear department.
Wish me luck.
If you enjoyed this, you might like to try Not Enough Time in the Day
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