The Dog House Diaries :
Tantrums and Tiaras
Well if you think me calling my puppy an arsehole was bad….it jut got a hell of a lot worse.
To start off with I was feeling like death warmed up this morning as I couldn’t get back to sleep after standing outside in the pissing rain at 4am waiting for him to go for a wee for 15 minutes.
When Jon went off to do the supermarket shop (any excuse to leave the house!) I thought I would introduce Barkley to a new toy to keep him occupied and allow me some time to just switch off a bit. The toy was an activity treat feeder. It’s basically a hard plastic ball with a hole in one side where you put treats. Around the outside of the ball there is a plastic ring so it looks a bit like Saturn, and as the ball spins around the floor, treats fall out for your dog to eat. Perfect!
Well, Barkley absolutely loved it…..and then he hated it…….and then he hated me. If I had thought he was bitey and scratchy before, well he unleashed a whole other level of crazy today.
I tried ignoring him (that hurt)
I tried shouting ‘No!’ (that hurt)
I tried distracting him with something else (that hurt)
I tried holding him back (that hurt)
I tried pinning him down (I was scared of hurting him, and it still hurt me)
In the end I had to literally carry him kicking and screaming (and biting) and put him in his crate for a time out. Once in there he continued to shout the odds and shake the bars like an angry convict, while I went into the bathroom to cry my eyes out and search for a suture kit.
Twice this happened today while Jon was out, and by the end of it I was on the verge of ringing blood.co.uk to ask if I could have a pint of blood back that I’d previously donated.
Why oh why had we let Edward Scissorhands into our house?
Of course my very sensible husband hit the nail on the head “He’s just testing us, finding his place in the pack.”
He’s right, of course he is. But it doesn’t make it any easier.
What has made it a bit easier is the water pistol.
This evening when the crazies started to kick in, we stopped his play by taking his toys away, and then when he started to going bonkers we squirted him with water and shouted ‘No!” We also then turned our gaze away from him.
He spent the next five minutes ranting and raving in dog speak with the right hump, before huffing over to the hearth, lying down and giving us the death stare.
I think we are off his Christmas card list.
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